The college application process was certainly a gruelling one. With multiple essays, requests for rec letters, and music school auditions, I found myself already overpiled with work. Oh, and not to mention the hundreds of dollars spent on sending scores and the application itself. Despite all of these different factors, I feel that none of them were necessarily the biggest stressor during my college application process. In fact, that “pressure” factor continued to affect not just me (as a soon-to-be graduating, already admitted and committed student) but those in other grades as well, who haven’t even started the process.
It really does not matter. The places other people go do not matter. The things people will judge you on after you publicly announce where you go do not matter.
What does matter, though, is that you are in an environment that you feel is the best for you.
Why make the application more stressful than it needs to be, not just for others, but for yourself?
You will find your place. Just because someone happened to apply to the same college you are applying to does not mean a bloodline-level strife needs to occur. People have free will, and guess what! Multiple people can get accepted to the same college! I know, it’s a really odd take. If you worry about being rejected and “replaced” by the other person, that is an issue on your own end that you need to resolve. It is not worth destroying a friendship over a decision that will most likely already create physical distance between friends. A friendship shouldn’t have limits at “I’ll be your friend as long as you don’t apply to the same places I do.” That’s not a friendship, it’s a competition, and that is something that, again, you must find a way to resolve within yourself. There’s always the possibility that both of you could get accepted (or rejected). Or, in the case that one of you is rejected, a response from a college is not a reflection of you as a person. It’s whether or not you fit the “mould” they are looking for that year. That mould could be rigid for some schools and not so rigid for others.
Forcing yourself to fit that mould when you know that you are not going to fit it will result in your own misery. Yippee! You got into a college that has a big name. However, did you take the time to look into the social life of that place? What about the physicality and location of it? What is the point of going to a big-name school if you will not get an education that is tailored to what YOU need and what will make YOU find balance between happiness and success in your future?
First and foremost, when looking at a college, you should go and visit it. Will you be comfortable on the living grounds? On paper, some things may seem perfect. However, I made massive cuts to my college search list after visiting some of the schools on it in person. Colleges want you to apply. They’re not going to list their negative traits in their advertisements. They won’t paint themselves in any light to demonstrate the things that make the campus or social life less appealing. Dig deeper into what the average day of a student there looks like. A lot of schools publish semester course lists. Do ANY of the classes cater to your interests or subspecialties? Find information on teachers and their teaching style. Will you be comfortable in your class and with your workload?
Again, the name is not the important thing. You could get accepted to whatever the general public claims is the best college in the world, yet you could be miserable.
In a similar vein, don’t judge people for where they are going. Telling people “oh, I thought you would get into a better place” does not help. What constitutes a “better” place? The “better” place may be better for you subjectively, but the place that they chose may be the best for them. You don’t necessarily know why someone chose the college they chose. Just because they do not go to a “big name college” does not mean that they will be unsuccessful and sad. It could be a matter of financial aid. It could be a matter of being close to home to take care of family. It could be a matter of getting away from a harmful household and into a more welcoming and safe environment. You never know, and it should never be your job to judge someone’s decision. Simply put, it is none of your business unless they decide to tell you themselves.
Here are some pretty successful and influential people who completed their undergrad at colleges that AREN’T Ivies or in the “Top 10 Best” Colleges:
Tina Fey → Got rejected from Princeton, went to the University of Virginia, and is now a famous actress and comedian who worked on SNL for almost a decade.
Zohran Mamdani → Current mayor of New York City. He went to Bowdoin.
Toni Morrison → Went to Howard to get her undergraduate degree.
Howard Schultz → CEO of Starbucks, went to Northern Michigan University.
David Filo → Co-founder of Yahoo! He went to Tulane to get his undergraduate degree.
Steve Jobs → He went to Reed College before dropping out. He went on to co-found Apple and Pixar.
Maya Angelou → She didn’t even go to college, and she became one of the USA’s most influential poets and activists!
And many, many other individuals. You don’t need a “top-ranked” school to be successful. You can only be successful if you are given the right tools and environment, and it’s going to look different for each person.
When I had my interview with a “top” school that had been my dream school for a long time, I knew at that moment when I began talking that the school would not be the right fit for me. Though I would not like to tarnish the name of the school or the interviewer, I immediately felt that I was being judged harshly, that none of my words and interests were coming across, and that I was not being taken seriously for some reason out of my control. If even in just the interview, I felt that I would have to put up a fake facade (and recite every course I’ve taken from the 9th grade forward with no pauses or risk being labelled as a fool), I knew I would not thrive in the environment on a larger scale for four years. That rejection led me to look more into a place that ended up suiting my interests better, and whether or not people judge me for where I go does not matter to me anymore. If my friendships break or if people’s respect for me breaks over a decision that I made for my own betterment, then those were not true connections to begin with.
Thank you for reading my articles. I will leave you all with this article as I continue my academic journey at Bowdoin College in Maine.
