There’s a very ominous presence at Keystone…sometimes it whistles in the hallways…other times, it hums in the sky…the Keystone Keynote has delved into the deepest corners of this evil that lurks at Keystone…and all signs point to…
CAMERON WEBER.
Why, you may ask?
1. He is an EVIL whistler.
If you hear an ominous whistling in the hallway while you’re in class or out and about on campus, it’s probably him. Even Dr. Caraway is envious of his whistling talent!
2. He has EVIL drones!
He has DRONES! And they’re REALLY evil. His drones navigated to McFarlin during a tennis practise, and he managed to capture a really horrendous moment (when I, the author of this article, hit a tennis ball straight into the net).
3. He plays violin (EVILLY!!!)
His violin playing enticed the judges at Halloween and caused the Seniors to lose Halloween. He also knows how to tune a violin. But does he know how to tune a fish?
Note: The violin itself is not evil. It’s just Cameron’s aura.
4. He likes fish (especially the evil ones).
Sometimes, you will randomly hear an
“ooOOOOoooooo…barraCUDA!” in the middle of class or during your break.
That is also Cameron at the peak of his evilness. He really likes fish and things that live in the water.
5. I couldn’t think of another evil thing, but my point still stands.
Thank you for reading this very very very serious article of the Keynote. We hope that you will be aware of this evil individual and report any suspicious sightings to someone who will stop this madness!
Note: This article has been approved by Cameron Weber, and it’s just a joke. Happy April Fool’s Day!
